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Last posts on private forums:  sare  2008-06-16 09:56:33 matthew 2008-04-12 21:25:59 pieniadz 2008-04-12 20:52:26
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Last posts on private blogs: matthew 2008-04-12 21:25:17 mary 2008-04-12 19:27:47 |
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Lastly added medical terms:
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You are in: Main Page / Medical articles / Psychology / After Breaking up with Your Boyfriend
What to do after breaking up with your boyfriend? What to do to move on and feel better than ever before? Or at least, get the grip on yourself reconcile with your own feelings and thoughts?
Most of us know the story quite well: one day he appears - The Ideal One. He comes from nowhere and favors you with his astonishing smile which brings a promise of a happy life. Distrustful at first, after the amount of time you find appropriate, you become convinced that you are a woman of his life who is the most important person in his whole lifetime. You let yourself being surrounded by strong arms and slowly get carried away on a pink cloud of happiness.
There is no denying that admiration for our partner expressed mostly by our friends (he is so handsome and caring) and family (it is high time) influence your state of being deeply in love. The feeling is sustained by systematic gifts: bouquets of flowers (the favorite ones), dinners by the candlelight or less conventionally, more touching by help with house redecorating, walking the dog or spending time watching our favorite romantic comedy.
You slowly begin to believe that happiness is meant to be for you, and thoughts about a brilliant ring and home full of children cross your mind. You start dreaming about being a perfect housewife who always has a delicious pie for dessert and has a blooming career. And while you are planning the cut of our wedding gown suddenly your relationship ends. You are puffed up because of crying and want to do nothing but hide from the whole world and fate which played a cruel trick on you.
How to cope with this awful feeling and come back to life?
1. Cry
It is natural that you are not brimming with energy or sparkling with wit. If your mood makes it impossible to function properly at work, try to get two days off. Do not think you do not deserve free time. You would certainly feel worse if you knew your boss and colleagues pity you. Let yourself have moments of weakness, cry as much as you can and eat all comfort foods that exists. Do not be shy - despair is a human thing.
2. Sweat
If you are tired of crying and being full of self-pity, grab a sports bag with a training suit, water, trainers and head for the gym. This will certainly help, on condition you choose the most strenuous activity and put yourself through the mill. Boxing or spinning classes will probably be the best. Cannot you spend too much money on fitness clubs? Go jogging! The endorphins your organism produces while exercising can improve your mood, moreover, you will be satisfied with the fact that you did something for yourself. Apart from that, you will burn calories.
3. Call your best friend
That is obvious - you do not want to complain to people so as they did not perceive you as a sad sack. Even the feeling of thousands of questions asked makes you feel sick. You surely know a person who will comfort you instead of satisfying her curiosity. You can go for a coffee or spend the evening together. You may even remind yourself about all good things women do.
4. Write down all vices of your ex...
Even though this way seems to be trivial you will be surprised how well it works. Take a large sheet of paper and write down all features of character of your ex-boyfriend which annoyed you. You will realize he was not an ideal at all. Add a list of pluses that are connected with being single e.g. time for gossiping with friends, watching whatever you want and spend a lazy day with your cat. Done that, pack his things and send him, keep the sheet of paper with the list at hand.
5. ...and all your virtues
Are you happy to get satisfied by small things? Or maybe people like you because they find comfort in you? Write the list in points and read this list before sleeping until you believe in what you have written down. Even if these are small and simple things you will realize that it was not your ex-partner who made you a valuable person. It is you who is special and unique.
6. Enroll to a course
It does not matter it is jewelry creation, pottery or yoga. Maybe you have always wanted to learn to play bridge? This is a chance to make your dreams come true. Not only will the courses fill your free time but you will learn something new.
7. Think about the relationship
When you finish the stage of despair and rebellion try to think about what caused the break-up. Maybe it did not have the reason d etre from the very beginning but you were not aware of that. Maybe your ex-partner is not the one you needed? That kind of analysis will let you get to know yourself better and avoid the same mistakes in the future. Remember though that no one is entirely blameless. Do not treat this break-up as a failure, just finish this stage of your life.
Added by:
mary
not connected with health care system
Added on:
2008-12-04 11:47:58 ,
Updated:
2008-12-04 12:09:59
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